I smirked, giggle-snorted, and laughed aloud throughout this delightfully irreverent read. “Dear, are you all right? I own cotton balls with more color.” She takes one look at me, and her smile drops. … I’ll find out tonight… My dress is so tight you can see my ovaries. I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to have men just look at me like a piece of eye candy. We cussed like two pirates at a rum festival.ĭamn, someone should write a bad country song about it…Kissed at dusk. They have things like panda or elephant faces on the front, positioned just so, in order to make the animal’s nose protrude like little penis puppets.Ī generous salami does not make up for his despicable personality.

There’s a market for everything these days. It’s almost as if he’s trying to drive me away. Still, something about the way Mitch keeps looking at me makes me think there’s more to his story. I can be professional, but if Mitch says “chicks can’t be bodyguards” one more time, I just might strangle him myself. Unfortunately, my boss has given me a choice-guard Mitch or get another job. Yeah, he might be the sexiest champion swimmer in the world, but I’d give this guy a gold medal for being a first-class jerk. MY NAME IS ABI CARTER, and I hate Mitch Hofer. Especially a young hot one who distracts me at every turn and hates my guts… Life-or-death stuff, so bring in the professionals. Let’s just say there’s a reason my nickname is “the Bulge.”īut beyond the fame, sponsors, and glory, there’s more to me than people know, including one hell of a mess I’ve gotten mixed up in. I’m a world-famous swimmer from Australia, best known for three things: my gold medals, my looks, and filling out a swimsuit with my…eh-hem-bulky equipment. From New York Times Bestseller Mimi Jean Pamfiloff comes BATTLE OF THE BULGE, Book Four of the OHellNO Series.

Oh, Henry by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff